By: Jackson Bollinger, Kaylin Burris, and Matthew Hall
A Mizzou sophomore sits
on the futon of his dirty, college duplex and casually swipes through the
dating app Tinder. It’s not a perfect way to meet someone, but Columbia has
very few queer spaces, and our friend just doesn’t like going out that often.
So, he opts to find Mr. Right via seemingly arbitrary swipes of the finger and
intense algorithms that drive the app. After many rights and many lefts, the
Sophomore lands on a cute boy and strikes up a conversation.
They
truly hit it off. His new friend is a Freshman that lives on Mizzou’s campus
and studies Environmental Science! Which our Sophomore doesn’t know much about,
but is able to fake his way through a conversation. In the Freshman’s bio he
identifies himself as a wheelchair user, but our Sophomore, who is very accepting of all abilities and diverse characteristics of anyone, is totally fine with that. Though, admittedly, the Sophomore had never gone on a date with a wheelchair user before. The two make plans for an awesome
Friday evening, but even the most intricately planned date can’t avoid the
initial awkwardness that is sure to ensue.
The Sophomore shows up at Mark Twain Residence Hall, and
is unsure where to meet his date. He knows that he is a wheelchair user, and
walks around the building to find the most accessible door, of which his date
is likely to come out. He has a lot of worry about the date, and he wants everything to go perfectly. It is the first date after all! However, after much searching, the Sophomore waits and
waits at what he believes to be the best door, yet, the Freshman never
shows. He double checks his dating app and realizes that the plan was actually
to meet outside of the MU Student Center. He breaks into a sprint.
Arriving breathless, cramping, and embarrassed about the misunderstanding, the Sophomore meets his
date in between Strickland Hall and the MU Student Center. The Sophomore talks
with his date, and they goof about not looking much like their profile
pictures. The Sophomore then heads up the stairs to begin their walk downtown,
thinking that his date will follow on the ramp. However, the Freshman says he
prefers to go through Strickland and use the elevator, because the ramp is so
poorly designed and maintained.
The two walk through Speaker’s Circle and, due to the
construction of the space, they have to walk passed all of the annoying tents
for Fraternities and student apartments, rather than being able to jog through the middle. The couple found themselves having to say “No thanks,” “Oh, I’m
fine thanks,” and “Please leave me alone,” as many people must when journeying through Speaker's Circle.
Further down 9th Street, the Sophomore notices
some bad cracks in the sidewalk ahead, and tries to warn the Freshman. The
Freshman is a bit annoyed by the Sophomore’s constant worry, but he’s
forgiving. This isn't the first time that the Freshman has rolled down this sidewalk.
They arrive at Main Squeeze. The Sophomore thinks that
since the Freshman is an Environmental Science major, he would be a vegetarian.
However, the Freshman is an avid steak lover. But, they were already there, so
bad assumptions aside, they decide to eat there.
The ramp and the door are a bit challenging for the
Freshman, and the Sophomore feels a weird level of guilt for the choice of location. But, they make it in.
The space is pretty cramped, but it isn’t too busy at that moment. So they are
able to sit at one of the side tables by the wall, and force themselves to
enjoy some vegetables.
After dinner, the Freshman suggests that they go grab
some coffee (presumably to cleanse the palate after some veggies), and wants to
go to his favorite coffee shop, Shortwave Coffee. However, the Sophomore steps
in and says that Shortwave isn’t an accessible space for the Freshman.
Clearly annoyed at the continued assumptions that he doesn't know about these things,
the Freshman forcefully says that he’ll be fine. The two then travel the short
distance to Shortwave, and to the surprise of the Sophomore, there is an
entrance without steps that allow the Freshman to easily enter. The order
counter is low and the seating is open, and the bathrooms are open and
accessible as well.
The date then decided to head to Ragtag Cinema to see a
movie. The Sophomore, as per usual on the date, was exceptionally worried about
the accessibility in the space. Yet again, since the Freshman has been a
wheelchair user for most of his life, he was accustomed to navigating many cramped and inaccessible spaces. However, though the cinema was crowded and loud in the
lobby, the theater space itself was easily made accessible for the Freshman,
and they were even able to awkwardly hold hands during the film.
After the movie, the Sophomore had certainly had a great
time, and the Freshman, though a bit annoyed at the unnecessary worry and care
of the Sophomore, still found him pretty cute. So, the two board a city bus to
head to the Sophomore’s duplex to hang out a little bit more.
By this point, the Sophomore had sensed that his attempts
to be as courteous and accommodating as possible were coming off more problematic
than supportive. He realized that in his attempts to be as protective and
thoughtful as he could be, he was actively adopting an ableist mindset: the
infantilization of the Freshman. It all clicked for the Sophomore.
The couple arrive to the duplex and the Sophomore is
feeling better about having discovered his problematic approach to the date.
However, in his new found confidence, the Sophomore forgot that he lived on the
second floor, and it would be completely impossible for his date to ascend the stairs.
However, the Freshman and Sophomore were both more than fine with having their private time in the dirty, public living
room.
The take-away of this date is that
the infantilization of individuals with disabilities is alive and well, and
sometimes well-meaning and that there are still situations within society’s
current construct, that make some spaces completely inaccessible, even to the
most experienced wheel-chair user. The society we live in is built by and for
individuals without disabilities, and that truly must change. These factors all added to make this first date less-than perfect, however the Freshman and Sophomore both had a great time, and are already planning their second date.
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