Accessible Date Night!

Froyo My Love?

 

For the first portion of our date we decided to take our date to FroYo. It was a wonderful sunny day outside, so it was perfect for picking up so frozen treats!

When we got inside to get our frozen yogurt we immediately noticed the lack of space for our wheelchair using companion. There was little to no space for our date to be able to maneuver around n the establishment without knocking something over, or us moving something out of the way. We also found that it was quite difficult for our date to be able to serve themselves. The levers for the frozen yogurt was low for someone who was able bodied, but for a wheelchair user, it was a little bit out of reach. The same with the toppings. They were organized in a way that our wheelchair date would need to ask for assistance.

Luckily we decided not to sit in the inside but even if we did, we would have had a hard time. The space is FroYo is tiny so our date and their wheelchair would take up a ton of space. Although the seats were movable, there was no place in FroYo for us to move them too, making it more inaccessible. 

We went outside for hopes of some eye ball to eye ball conversation, but that proved to be disappointing as well. The benches that lined FroYo were bolted to the ground and the only place to actually have eye contact with our wheelchair user was either one of the end benches. We were excited about that until we realized the landscaping had huge, heavy flower pots that could not be moved. The only way for us to have an intimate conversation with our date would be for them to sit directly in front of us.

The bathrooms were also a change. They had lots of railings which would definitely be useful for our date, but actually getting to the bathroom was again very hard. Limited space was a common theme at FroYo.

Pose for the Camera!

Next we went to Campus Bar & Grill for a little entertainment. We loved how the handicap ramp was close to the front door, so they definitely got a plus for that. Now the establishment is actually quite spacious but we wanted to listen to some music and take some pictures in the photo booth, and that's where we encountered our problems.

The music machine was extremely inaccessible because it was placed so high up. There was no way our date could have chosen their favorite song or music genre because they couldn't reach it. The photo booth was even more of a challenge because once again there was no room for our wheelchair companion.

Night Cap!

For our private time we decided to go to one of our houses that was close to downtown. We decided to have our private time there because we thought that was a typical college thing. Once we go to the house we noticed that there was a step up to the front door. We went down the driveway and noticed that there were steps to get up to the other door in the back also. There was a door to get into the basement but the only thing down there is a kitchen, two bedrooms, a bathroom and the laundry room. My room is upstairs. We noticed that my house was not wheelchair accessible. There was no way for a person in a wheelchair to get upstairs. There were so many obstacles that we talked about that we never noticed before from how small a place can be to navigate around to the bumpy sidewalks. We ran into many more problems that we expected.  

Our Thoughts

After going on our date we had the chance to sit back and reflect on some of things we noticed:

What surprised us...

The total lack of regard that many places have toward making their establishments accessible really surprised me. It’s like they don’t even try to make it accessible. Simple things like lower bars and counters, wider spaces, and ramps could make a world of a difference. 

What didn't surprise us...

It wasn’t surprising to see that most of our society is not structured in a disability friendly way; rather, what was surprising was how extensive the problems were. Cities tend to grow organically, but that doesn’t necessarily make them friendly even to abled-bodied people. Disabled people must contend with things such as narrow sidewalks, inconvenient stairs, crosswalks that ignore the blind, doors that are not easy to use. To build a city that is completely friendly to all people might be impossible; each and every person has their own level of disability and things they can and cannot do, presenting unique problems. To build a city that at least attempts to be considerate to the disabled is still difficult, but it is something we need to start doing.

Dating in the Future...

I’m… not really experienced with dating. As in ‘dated one person’. Sort of. This assignment made me think about what it would be like to date a person with disability- while I’ve never been opposed to the idea, we simply don’t see disabled people in the typical media portrayal of romance. It reminds me of learning queerness- of learning how to find work arounds for typical romantic ideals that no longer apply, of having to learn new ways to show affection both platonic and sexual. ​

This assignment made me think differently about the spontaneity in dating, at least for college students. For an able-bodied individual, a date might consist of a variety of planned and unplanned events, but because of the lack of accessibility in many places, someone in a wheelchair would not be able to be as spontaneous, because they would need to be aware of how accessible each place is.